Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
