I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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