I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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