i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
