He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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