Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
