What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
