so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
