I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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