You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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