This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
