Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
