I think my fart just growled at me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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