His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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