his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
