I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
