Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
