Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
