if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
even my farts smell like vagina
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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