apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
