my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
