I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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