That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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