If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
not ubering you a puppy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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