drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
