We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
