Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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