YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize