i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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