ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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