You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize