Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
