i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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