Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
