piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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