she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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