You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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