On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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