You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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