so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
