I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
