all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
