Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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