I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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