I heard we made out
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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