if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
