It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
