I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
