Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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