Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if only i could text you this smell
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
