so let's talk penis.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
