Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
