i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize