You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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