Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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