when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
