I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
