Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
only if we run a train.
done.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
