they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
