oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she peed on how many people?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
